A Real Hottie
by SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot
Summary: Kurt learns the hard way that accidentally napping shirtless outside doesn't end well for him.


**I'm not really sure where this came from, but I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

"Blaine. Blaine, I fucked up."

Blaine looked up from his issue of _Bird Talk_, surprised to see Kurt but not at all upset that he was only in shorts. "Oh, hey, babe! I thought you were at work?"

"Gunther sent me home early, it was pretty slow today. So I decided to go lay out on the fire escape for a little while until you got back," Kurt explained. He looked unusually stiff, especially since laying in the sunlight tended to relax Kurt like a narcotic.

"You lose track of time or something, then?" Blaine teased. "Because I got home nearly two hours ago." He tossed his magazine on the coffee table and opened his arms, silently offering some couch space for a cuddle.

"No, I don't think that would be a good idea right now," Kurt said, shaking his head slowly. "Because I'm pretty sure my back is on fire."

"On fi – baby, did you forget to wear sunscreen?" Blaine asked, a little frantic. Crises weren't his strong suit.

"I wasn't planning on falling asleep, but then _Vogue _had a spread on pajamas and I was so warm...," Kurt trailed off. "Is it as bad as it feels? My neck's too sore for me to check it out myself." He turned around and Blaine's jaw dropped.

"Oh my God," he breathed. Kurt's back was practically burgundy and so warm-looking that Blaine thought he could feel the heat from ten feet away. The burn trailed up his neck and down his legs, too – even lightly dusting the soles of his feet. "Kurt, baby, this is bad. We might need to go see a doctor."

"Can we please try to sooth it here first?" Kurt asked. Blaine could hear the pleading bleed into his tone, much as Kurt was probably trying to bite it back. "You know how I feel about going to the doctor."

Blaine did know, having a vivid memory of the time he'd almost had to fireman carry Kurt out of the clinic after he'd passed out briefly while getting a shot. Seeing as fireman carrying Kurt would be impossible today due to the color of his back, he nodded.

"Okay. I'll grab the aloe and the Tylenol and an ice pack, and we'll see how it goes here. But if it begins to blister, we're going to the doctor's, alright? I'd rather you tried to squeeze all the bones out of my hand than contract sun poisoning." Blaine tried to look stern, hoping Kurt would acquiesce. He knew he'd crumble first if they had a standoff, and this was too serious to risk.

"I'd suck it up and go if it came to that, I promise," Kurt said, holding up his hand in the Scout's Honor pledge. "But I'd really rather see if we can do anything here, where you won't judge me if I shriek."

"You shrieking is usually a _good _sign for me," Blaine said, winking.

"Blaine. I am sunburned and cranky. Do not try my patience."

"Yes, dear," Blaine said instantly. "How about you come lay down on the couch while I go grab everything?" He nearly sprang upright, fluffing up the throw pillow he'd been leaning against so Kurt would have somewhere comfy to put his head.

"Now you're talking," Kurt teased, slowly walking over. He laid down jerkily, trying to move as little of his body as possible while still achieving the end goal. "I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart," Blaine said as he wandered into the bathroom to gather up their aloe gel and Tylenol before swinging through the kitchen for the ice pack and a glass of water. "Here, take these first." He shook two tablets into Kurt's outstretched hand, then handed him the glass once he'd gotten them in his mouth.

"Thank you, B," Kurt said. "Seriously."

"There is literally nothing that could stop me from trying to make you feel better right now, Kurt," Blaine said as he maneuvered over enough to reach the majority of Kurt's back without actually being on the couch. He squirted a healthy glop of the cool green gel onto his hands. "I'm not even sure how you're going to be able to sleep tonight."

"Probably in this exact position, with – oh - a blow to the head to knock me out cleanly if need be," Kurt said, moaning a little when Blaine gently touched his hands to his back.

"Too painful?" Blaine asked. He was smoothing over Kurt's skin as lightly as possible, but the burn looked so angry that he was afraid even that was too much.

"It stings, but I can handle it. It wouldn't be any better at the doctor's, anyways," Kurt said, and Blaine nodded, conceding his point.

"Feel free to scream as loud as you need to," Blaine said, squirting more gel onto his palms. "It's not like our neighbors would find that unusual."

"Oh, so you don't like our friends knowing we have sex, but it's totally plausible that the neighbors won't mind?" Kurt asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Our neighbors won't try to fill our dresser with sex toys, unlike Santana did that one time," Blaine said. "They also don't try to lecture me about the noise level like Rachel used to."

"Fair point," Kurt said. "Can you get my legs? My back's feeling marginally better."

"As you wish," Blaine said, shooting Kurt a cheesy smile and scooting down more. He worked in silence for a few minutes, coating Kurt's legs and feet evenly and making sure nothing went ungelled. He could feel Kurt's muscles relaxing somewhat under his touch and was proud that his magic hands weren't failing him. "Feeling any better?" he asked once he thought there was nothing left to medicate.

"It's uncomfortable, but much less so than earlier," Kurt said, slurring a little. "I should be fine for a little while."

"Want to watch a movie after I get the ice pack on you?" Blaine asked, getting up to go wash his hands in the kitchen sink. "Something summery where everyone has great tans?"

"I'm pretty sure making fun of me when I'm injured is grounds for a break-up." Kurt gave Blaine the best glare possible in his current position.

"You couldn't even leave right now if you wanted to," Blaine pointed out. "I could keep you here _foreeeeveeeer._"

"Well, you do give a mean back rub," Kurt mused playfully. "I could probably get used to it."

"Does that make you Belle and me the Beast?" Blaine asked, plopping back on the floor in front of the couch and pulling up Netflix.

"Is there any other option?" Kurt said. He wiggled his head just slightly off the edge of the couch. "Hey. Look at me."

"Wh- mmph," Blaine said, getting cut off in the middle of his question by a fleeting kiss from Kurt.

"Thank you for not laughing at my misfortune."

"I wouldn't get too far ahead of yourself. Once you've healed up a bit, this is totally fair game," Blaine said. "I mean, how do _you _forget sunblock, Mr. I Can Burn Indoors?"

"When I can move again, I'm hiding your hair gel," Kurt threatened.

"What I meant to say was I love you and there's ice cream in the freezer."

"That's what I thought."


End file.
